Free Dating Websites

This morning on CNN …Clark Howard mentioned the below free dating websites.

www.downtoearth.com

www.okcupid.com

www.plentyoffish.com   I had you used this unsuccessfully in the past.

www.loveaccess.com was a free site when I tried it unsuccessfully years ago.

I met my husband through yahoo personals. We were married on June 21, 2008 are very happy.

Coach Jaynine is an author, speaker, and coach. She propels her clients to greatness so they can turn their dreams into reality. Visit her website at www.attractlovekeeplove.com for more information.

Writing an Online Dating Profile: Part I

This is the first of a 5 part series.

Your profile is where you advertise yourself. 

Integrity is key. Do not mislead or misrepresent yourself to the reader. Post current photos or at a minimum let the observer know the date of your photos. I personally do not think it is appropriate to have pictures of children on your profile. Please use caution. Men do not like it when women post their high school prom photo or year book photo when the woman is over 40 years old. Use current photos. It doesn’t matter how well preserved you are if you are over 40 years old you do not look like your high school year book photo.

This is the time to dust off your old English Textbook. Use proper sentence structure to include capitalizing the first word in a sentence. End all sentences with proper punctuation. Do not use slang or improper grammar unless you truly want to be judged by the image those words project. Do not forget to run spell check. Trust me…if you write a really bad profile people will print it and show all their friends and you will be the laughing stock of that particular dating website.

When writing your profile I highly recommend writing your profile as a word document so that you can run spell check.  You also can then cut and past the word document into the space provided by pressing the control key and the C key simultaneously to copy the document, then put the cursor in the area where you want the document. Press the control key and the V key simultaneously and the document will paste itself into the allotted space. Another advantage of saving your profile as a word document is that you will be able to cut and paste it onto various dating websites or update it as necessary without re-typing the entire document.

If the website has a section for a personal description please be authentic. There is nothing worse than investing time establishing rapport with someone then finally meeting that person only to discover he or she does not look anything like the person described in the online advertisement. This is pointless; starting a relationship based on false information is wrong and just wastes everyone’s time. Also, do not lie about your age. Sooner or later your fibbing will be discovered and the trust will be broken. Everyone is attracted to a certain type so there is nothing wrong with not wanting to date someone shorter than you are or who has a hair color you don’t like etc.

Write your profile with integrity and enjoy the dating experience.

 

Coach Jaynine is an author, speaker, and coach. She propels her clients to take action so they achieve greatness so they can turn their dreams into reality. Visit her website at www.attractlovekeeplove.com for more information.

 

Increase Your Credibility: Part III Nonverbal Communication

How often do you focus on the other person’s nonverbal communication? Are you aware of how you communicate nonverbally? Below are my tips for increasing your credibility through nonverbal communication.

 

Facial Expressions & Gestures

 

Nonverbal communication and behavior can vary between cultures. However, the facial expressions for happiness, sadness, fear, and anger are similar worldwide.

 

•      Pay attention to your face and others. Is it mask-like, stoic, animated, emotionally present showing interest?

•      Is your face showing what you are really thinking? Are you smiling when you really would like to choke the person speaking?

•      Gestures are deliberate movements that communicate a meaning without words. What hand gestures are you making? If someone saw just your hand gestures would they know what was going on?

 

Body Language

•      Posture and movement of your body can convey feelings and attitudes.

•      Most people assume that crossed arms means the person is being defensive and leg crossing is flirting behavior.

•      Most research on body language was conducted in the 1970s and is over interpreted.

•      New research states that body language cues are far more subtle and less definitive than the 1970s research stated.

 

Proxemics

•      Proxemics is commonly known as personal space.

•      The proper distance for personal space is dictated by social norms, situational factors, personal choice, and level of familiarity

•      18 inches to 4 feet is commonly used for having a casual conversation.

•      10 to 12 feet is the distanced used for speaking to a crowd.

•      If you are a poor judge of distance just use the standard…one arm lengths away. Hold your arm out in front of you and that is the distance to stand between people.

 

Eye Gaze

•      Staring, rapid blinking, down cast eyes all are nonverbal communication behaviors.

•      Eyes can give away what the person is really thinking. Have you ever seen someone’s eyes smiling while the rest of their face was stoic?

•      Eye contact can be considered evasive or confrontational and intimidating.

•      Communication experts state that the normal interval of eye contact should last 4 to 5 seconds.

•      Good eye contact is not STARING into the other persons eyes.

 

Haptics

•      Haptics is communicating through touch.

•      This can be a hug and we all know there are variations to a hug. Each hug can have a different meaning.

•      Touching someone on the shoulder or a slap on the back all convey meaning.

•      Stroking of the hair is considered flirtatious.

 

Appearance

•      Your choice of clothing, hairstyle, and clothing color all make a statement about you.

 

 

10 Tips for Nonverbal Communication Success

 

•      Pay attention to the other persons Nonverbal Signals.

•      Look for spoken words and nonverbal communication that don’t match.

•      Focus on your tone and pitch when speaking.

•      Employ good eye contact.

•      Ask for clarifications for nonverbal communication.

•      Use verbal and nonverbal communication congruently.

•      If you are speaking to a group survey the group for everyone’s nonverbal behavior.

•      Always consider the situation and context someone is talking.

•      Recognize that signals can be misinterpreted

•      Practice, practice, practice

 

Mind Your Own Business: Grow Your Business Now

Two years ago retired Marine, Jaynine Howard, traded in her combat boots to help others catch their dreams. On January 24, 2009, Dream Catcher, Howard’s small business coaching, mentoring and consulting company, is set to join forces with three dynamic coaches from Virginia and New York to help Small Business Owners welcome in the new year. In addition, Microsoft has just announced that they will be the sponsor for the conference and future conferences, which are held around the United States.

 

Coach Howard says her clients are “small business owners who are ready to take their business to the next level.  My clients are willing to learn how to create a winning mindset, develop their presence in the community so they are known as the expert, get comfortable with delegating to increase productivity, and outsource tasks.   For them, it’s their chance to also learn practical strategies that they can use to solve everyday challenges.” 

 

Coach Howard capitalizes on her military experience and the knowledge gained while pursuing her PhD in Psychology as she works with dynamic business owners.  Sessions are conducted via telephone and the internet thus allowing clients to save travel, time and money by not having to take time off work or leave home. 

 

Coach Howard is a member of the Jacksonville-Onslow Chamber of Commerce, the American Psychological Association, 24/7 Coaching, and Coachville. To learn more about these dynamic Coaches and to register for the Mind Your Own Business: Grow Your Business Now Conference visit her website at www.myobworkshop.com .

Increase Your Credibility: Improve Your Verbal Communication Skills

Whether you want to admit or not you judge people on their use of the English language and your ability to understand their accent. We often assume (very wrong) that someone is uneducated if we cannot understand what they are saying; if they have a regional accent. We also make stereotypes based upon the slang the person uses. The worst faux pas is attempting to use words you cannot pronounce or you use a word that is just not appropriate. People can spot someone trying to be someone they are not. Below are my tips to help you increase your credibility when you are speaking.

15 Tips for Improving Your

Communication Skiills

 

1.       Develop your voice—if you have a high whiney voice research says you are often seen as being helpless and playing the victim role. Researchers recommend that you practice singing an octave lower than your normal voice.

2.       Slow down – fast talkers are often perceived as nervous and unsure of themselves or as someone trying to sell you something.

3.       Animate your voice – not like a Disney character. Avoid being boring and monotone; smile when you talk. Practice raising and lowering your pitch when you talk.

4.       Enunciate – speak clearly, don’t mumble. Move your mouth when you speak.

5.       Use the Appropriate Volume – soft or low volume when sitting close to someone and a louder volume when speaking to a large group.

6.       Pronounce your words correctly. If you cannot pronounce it correctly don’t use it.

7.       Be authentic and use the right word – we all know people that use big words to try and impress us. It doesn’t work does it;  we aren’t impressed.

8.       Make eye contact – if you are nervous making eye contact ….keep your eyes focused on scanning the persons T zone (the person will think you are looking at him or her). Don’t do it too fast though you make look like you are being silly.

9.       Use hand gestures – use small hand gestures for small groups and large hand gestures for large groups. Hand gestures help get your meaning across.

10.   Don’t send mixed messages – ensure your hand gestures and facial expressions match what your words are saying. Don’t be delivering bad news by smiling; the person will think you are joking.

11.   Read out loud daily

12.   Tape your conversations and listen to yourself

13.   Watch other people’s reactions to you as you speak

14.   Ask for feedback

15.   Breath

 

Verbal Communication Tips that ADD CREDIBILITY

 

1.       Avoid unnecessary laughter.

2.       Don’t end statements with a question – use a period- bring your voice down.

3.       Say what you want to say and don’t apologize for saying it.

4.       Place emphasis on key words.

5.       Avoid qualifiers – I think, I believe, If you aren’t too busy, could you help me instead of I need help – they take away confidence.

6.       Avoid fillers – umm, aaa, ugh – if you don’t know what to say just stay silent

7.       Avoid throat clearing, shaky voice.

8.       Move your mouth as you speak – this keeps you from mumbling for talking to fast.

9.       Speak at the correct volume.

10.   Know your audience and your subject matter and be authentic.

 

When you improve your communication skills you will increase your productivity and credibility. You will be seen as the expert in the community.

 

 

Increase Your Credibility: Dress for Success

Whether we want to admit it or not we form our opinions about people based upon how they look. We evaluate their capabilities and likeability based upon their grooming standards, verbal communication, and nonverbal communication. So just as you are sizing up someone that someone is also sizing you up.

 

Research states that is only takes someone 15 seconds to form an opinion about you based upon your appearance.

 

You are evaluated on:

55%  body language and appearance

38%  verbal tone

7%    verbal content

 

I want everyone to take a hard honest look in the mirror. We will start at the top…

 

Hairstyle – when was it last updated? Are you wearing the same hairstyle from high school? Do you need a haircut? Is your hair clean? What does your hair say about you? Is it too distracting? Remember when job hunting or at work it is better to be conservative than flashy.

 

Face – pay attention to your grooming of facial hair, application of cosmetics, and the color of your teeth. It is amazing how many people neglect their teeth. Brush your teeth at least twice a day. If you drink a lot of coffee or smoke cigarettes invest in teeth whitening. Women need to pay attention to how a lipstick shade changes the shade of white of their teeth. Facial hair to include eyebrows, chin, lip etc speaks volumes about you. Invest in laser hair removal or waxing. Trust me; people are noticing and talking. This includes men too. Ensure your eyebrows, mustache and beards are properly groomed.

 

Hands – look at your nails and cuticles. What do they say about you? Are your nails clean? Are your cuticles torn and dry? Are your hands clean? Do not wear chipped nail polish.

 

Clothing – is it stylish, clean, and well pressed? Are you wearing clothes that fit? When we talk about clothing, two colors I think that are often overlooked are black and white. This week take a good look at your clothes that are black and white. Is the black really black or is it faded…is the white crisp white or is it yellowed or grey? Two other colors that are often worn faded are red and brown. Pay attention to the age and color of your clothing.

 

I know many people think that they can wear old clothes and no one cares at their work. However, guess again, when you see someone looking unkept that is how you perceive their job performance, work ethic, and education. If someone is wearing outdated clothing guess what; people will assume that persons job skills are also outdated.

 

Toes– if you wear sandals do your feet look neat? Are your toe nails polished? Is the polish chipped? What about your heels?  Are they rough and cracked. People are noticing. Go get a pedicure. But remember, never wear sandals to a job interview. Most employers will also require you to wear closed toe shoes on the job.

 

Shoes – are the heels worn? Take a close look at the toes of your shoes. Are they scuffed? Are the heels worn? A cobbler can fix your shoes for a fraction of the cost of replacing them. Do not wear tennis shoes to work unless it is part of your job description.

 

Action:  I want you to assess the clothing in your closet to include your footwear. Throw away anything stained, faded, dingy, things that do not fit, or are out of style. You do not want to be categorized as being outdated. Now I want you to take an honest look at your hairstyle, your purse, and your makeup? When was the last time you replaced your makeup? Remember bacteria get in your makeup and it does not last forever. Bacteria in your cosmetics can be the cause of breakouts.

Make a list of items you need to buy or replace so that you present a professional image. Now armed with a list of items you need to replace prepare a budget so that you can easily afford to replace them.

 

It is imperative you understand your office and corporate dress code. When you are presenting a clean and professional image, you will be taken seriously. You will be seen as credible and the expert in your community.

Post Holiday Depression: Do you have the post holiday blahs? Now it is time for my Holiday Detox!

Now that the hustle and bustle of the Holidays is over and you are left standing alone in the middle of your big empty living room surveying the damage now what? You wander from room to room. There is a mess in each room. There is wrapping paper, bows, gift boxes and receipts laying everywhere. Dirty dishes line the counter tops and there is not one single car left in the driveway showing signs that help is on the way. Now what; who is going to clean up the mess? Who is going to help with the laundry? Where are you going to find the energy to tackle the mess? Now is the time for a Holiday Detox!

Holiday Detox is needed when you are totally zapped of mental and physical energy. You may be feeling depressed and just want to go hibernate. Below are my 7 tips to combat the post Holiday blahs and begin your Holiday Detox.

1.  Music.  Now is the time to grab your IPOD or turn up the volume on your stereo. Select your favorite music that inspires you and gets you dancing in your chair. TURN UP THE VOLUME! You can even sing if you want.

2. Shower. Drag your body into the shower. Use the “special” occasion body wash followed by “special” occasion lotion and perfume. Remember the music volume is loud so you can hear it in the shower. Just be careful you do not slip while dancing in the shower.

3. Comfy clothes. Now put on your comfy clothes. However, do not confuse these with your lawn working clothes.  Your Holiday Detox outfit should make you feel “special” and pretty. Now is the time to wear an apron if you own one.

4. Multi task. Make a plan. Spray the showers and bathtubs with cleaner. Pour the toilet bowl cleaner in the toilet. Strip the beds and start a load of laundry. Then wander from room to room picking up all the trash. Next drag out the vacuum cleaner and vacuum the house from top to bottom. Remember the music is loud enough so you can hear above the roar of the vacuum cleaner.  Now go back and finish the bathrooms. Don’t forget the mirrors. Swap the laundry from the washer to the dryer. Time to start another load, I suggest the towels next they are easy to fold. While you have the glass cleaner out go clean all the finger prints and puppy dog nose prints off the sliding glass door and storm door.

5. Food. Now it is time to admit that part of the post holiday blahs is caused by the sugar roller coaster that you have been riding. Grab a big trash bag and toss all the leftover candy, cookies, fattening foods into a big trash bag and put them immediately in the trashcan outside. If you cannot seem to part with tossing the junk out then I suggest you give it to a teenager or someone with a high metabolism. Your body is screaming for a Detox. It is screaming NO MORE SUGAR. If you miss sipping on hot chocolate on cold afternoons, I highly suggest substituting a mug of hot lemon water. It works for me and curbs the appetite.

6. Exercise.  Now that you have tossed out the sugar and the house is vacuumed, it is time to reward yourself with a brisk walk. Go grab your shoes and get outside for a quick stroll around the block. You owe it to yourself to get out of the house with its stale air and get some fresh air. Remember, you are still being productive because you are doing laundry.

7. Reminisce and ENJOY. As you fold the last of the laundry, take time to remember why the holidays are so special. Load the holiday pictures onto your favorite websites and email them to all your friends. Now is also the time to enjoy the peace and quiet of your home. Grab the remote control and plop down on the sofa and enjoy being able to watch your favorite television show without interruption. Grab your note pad and start planning next year’s holiday spectacular which will include everyone helping complete chores before they dash out of the drive way.

Yours truly…turning dreams into reality,

Coach Jaynine

 Is this the year to take action? Contact me today so you can turn your dreams into reality. www.dreamcatcher-lifecoaching.com