Stages in a Relationship

There are 10 stages in a relationship. It is paramount that you be able to identify each stage. Often people wake up one day and they are in the termination stage and they haven’t a clue how they got there. They just didn’t see it coming; because they didn’t pay attention to the relationship. All relationships need care and attention. Your car will not run if you do not do routine maintenance and put gas in it; a relationship needs fuel and maintenance too.

 

10 Stages of a Romantic Relationship

 

1.  Initiating Stage: This is when you first meet a person or become aware of whom he or she is. This stage can be very brief depending upon the circumstances. If you see someone at a social event and are then later introduced at that event you spend a very brief period of time in this stage. However, if you watch someone from afar for several months waiting for an introduction you may spend a great deal of time in this stage.

 

2.  Experimenting Stage: This stage is where people make small talk. This stage can be brief or very lengthy. There is no need to rush this stage.

 

3. Intensifying Stage: Friendship is born during this stage. You share common interests and needs with the other person.

 

4. Integrating Stage: This stage is where you begin to count on the other person. You know without discussion that Friday night you always go to dinner or on the weekend he will mow your lawn without you having to ask.

 

5. Bonding Stage: During this stage a commitment is formed. You do not have to enter the bonding stage. You can proceed to another stage. However, most people think of the bonding stage as when two people move in together or get married.

 

6. Differentiating Stage: The differentiating stage has the participants each focusing on his or her own pursuits. They are still committed to the relationship but they are not always joined at the hip. This is healthy as the individuality is re-established.

 

7. Circumscribing Stage: Now is the time to re-invest in the relationship or risk losing what you had in Stages 1-5. Many marriages or relationships end during this stage because people have forgotten what once attracted them to each other.

 

8. Stagnating Stage: If the relationship is still struggling this stage has the participants going through the motions or routine. There is still tension in the relationship and rituals have lost their meaning.

 

9. Avoiding Stage: The tension from the stagnating stage is still present and people begin to avoid each other. Arguments get more intense. The participants may make repeated attempts to save the relationship and friendship.

 

10. Terminating Stage: During this stage the relationship either ends because the participants choose and agree to end it or during the avoidance stage the people drift away and never reconnect with each other.

 

These 10 Stages can be used to give your relationship a tune up or to see where you are headed. I think it is important to pull out this list and identify where you are currently operating so that you can be prepared to take action and work on your relationship or make the decision to terminate it.

 

Coach Jaynine is an author, speaker, and coach. She propels her clients to greatness so they can turn their dreams into reality. Visit her website at www.attractlovekeeplove.com for more information.