Conversation is a two-way exchange of information. There seems to be an epidemic that has affected each of us. Lately, people keep telling me how they just got off the phone or went to dinner with someone who did all the talking and they did not get to say anything other than an occasional “hmmm” “oh my” “really” “yes” “you don’t say”. This is not engaging in a conversation. This is being an audience member.
If you are guilty of doing all the talking, I encourage you to stop and share the stage. Ask questions and actively listen to the other person. I have identified three types of conversation monopolizers.
1. The 1 Upper – this person has done whatever you just told them you did but they did it on a more grandiose scale. Thus, leaving you feeling defeated. I suggest that even if you can one up the person because you really have been there or done that…stop yourself, bite your tongue, and let the person enjoy basking in their glory.
2. The Know It All – this person thinks he or she knows how you should be conducting your life or business within seconds of introducing yourself to them. The best thing you can do is just nod your head in agreement with your best fake smile because if you try to argue or state your position they will continue to give you unsolicited advice anyway.
3. The Martyr – this person is never having a good day. They are the sacrificial lamb to all their family and friends and they love it. When you meet this person, I suggest you run…run very fast and get away. Their negative energy is contagious and you do not want to catch it.
I encourage you to implement my six steps for polite conversation.
1. Ask about the other person first before telling your news.
2. Actively listen to the tone of their voice and the words they are saying. Often times you may hear a discrepancy. If you hear, a discrepancy probe further and focus on them.
3. Share the stage. When you share your news, remember the person has news to share too. Enjoy the exchange of words. Enjoy having a real conversation.
4. Do not 1 Up the other person. Let them bask in their glory.
5. Do not be The Know It All; because guess what, you do not know it all.
6. Don’t whine or be negative. It is very draining to others.
When you implement my six steps for polite conversation, you will be the person that others love to engage in a conversation with.
Jaynine Howard is the owner of Dream Catcher – Business Coaching. She has over 20 years of experience helping others design systems and strategies that increase their productivity and credibility. If you are ready to take action and earn more money, contact her today at www.coachjaynine.com. Sign up to receive your free e-course Networking Detox: My 5 Secrets to Networking Success today at www.networkingdetox.com
Posted by coachjaynine 
Coach Jaynine's Blog 